8:00 PM. Dinner
• We are finally eating dinner and my wife is telling me about the chores that must get done this weekend. I am nodding in agreement, but I haven’t heard a word because I am thinking about how I am going to straighten out the mess at work. I then realize to my dismay that I haven’t been present. My mind has drifted off and I am not giving my wife the attention she deserves (that anyone deserves).
We have already discussed the importance of being present in the moment and of being aware of our surroundings and the people in our lives. The point of mentioning it here is not only to reiterate its importance, but to use this as an example of how quickly our practitioner is remembering to engage the practice. He quickly wakes up to the fact that he hasn’t been present and therefore has not given his wife the attention she deserves.
This is an example of the cumulative effect of performing when-which-how as often as possible. The more we practice it, the more experience we gain, and this experience adds to our skill and ability to build in the habit of living from the heart instead of from the ego-personality. Below are more examples of the snowballing momentum that we can build into our lives through practicing when-which-how. All of these realizations are born from the virtues of the heart.
• I apologize for not paying attention to our discussion.
• Through valor, I am able to honestly express my situation at work and explain the reasons for my callous and thankless behavior of late.
• I express to her how appreciative I am of her efforts to support the family in so many ways.
• I express my understanding for how she must have felt during this stage of our relationship.
• Turning within, I put myself in her position and can feel compassion welling up in me, and I send it to her.
• Meanwhile, another argument has broken out between the two kids in the next room and instead of screaming at them to shut-up and go to bed, I inform them that my wife and I will help resolve their argument in the morning.
• As the music is playing I picture the six virtues energy grid surrounding me and enveloping most of the rooms in our home. A new atmosphere of harmony descends upon our family…at least for awhile.
• As the music is playing I picture the six virtues energy grid surrounding me and enveloping most of the rooms in our home. A new atmosphere of harmony descends upon our family…at least for awhile.
