A middle-aged couple is faced with a difficult decision. The husband’s father has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease and he and his wife must decide whether to care for him in their home or to put him in a nursing home. They are torn emotionally because although they have a spare bedroom, they also have two teenaged children and they worry about the impact this will have on them.
They seek the opinions and the advice of medical professionals, social workers, and family members, but in the end it is really their decision to make. Ultimately, through their practice of when-which-how, they seek the advice of the energetic heart. Even going to this profound source of wisdom, there does not seem to be a correct answer or perfect solution to the dilemma. In addition, their father does not want to be a burden on the family, but at this stage, he is not capable of making an objective decision.
Eventually, the couple decides to try their best to keep their father at home with them for as long as they can. It is agreed that if the situation becomes too difficult for them and their children, they will place him in a nursing home. The virtue of valor gave them the courage to proceed in this direction. This decision feels right to them because they have balanced compassion with understanding. They realize that it will take much compassion and understanding for the entire family to work through this crisis. Therefore, the couple agrees to work hard at integrating emotional self-mastery, meditation, and practicing when-which-how into their lives.
